In This Economy, Sometimes You Just Need A Bargain…Malt Liquor Anyone???

 

 

So I just got paid last Friday and what do ya know, $740 hard earned dollars went straight to bills and expenses…

Leaving my disgruntled ass with not that much cash flow for the next 2 weeks.

So instead of bitching and complaining, which I do oh so well, I have decided to take control of the situation.

Embrace my poverty if you will…

This weekend I went out and got myself a few40 ounces and some good ol’ mary jane…

While there will be those of you who say “How foolish, those aren’t necessities!”

Take a moment to step outside of the box…

What good is 40-50 extra bucks in my pocket going to do me if I’m sober and miserable the whole time!!!!

Fuck it, right?

They don’t call me Logical for nothing!

See in my little sick and twisted world, its all about quality of life…

If I got some bud and some booze, I’m virtually taken care of.

With the latest innovations to downloading and online pornography, its a wrap…

You can spend hour after hour just click-click-clicking through those free trailers…holding that nut in until you find the preview worthy of shooting off…

Gross…yes I know…but remember its only gross because you too know what I’m talking about!!!

 

Logical

D.Smith

Published in: on December 9, 2008 at 2:36 pm  Comments (5)  
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Now It’s Personal…You Skipskap Scallywags!!!

 

 

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D94QN0200&show_article=1&catnum=0

 

The typical American that I am…

It’s allll fun and games when European and Scandanavian ships were getting hijacked by our once upon a time pirate friends from Somalia – but now?

Its personal…

I almost feel betrayed

I really felt like we were growing together – learning from one anothers way of life if you will

We shared art…culture…violence…

And this is how you motherfuckers repay me?

Firing eight shots at an American cruise ship!!!

There goes Black Sparrow you ungrateful sons of bitches…

I assure you this will be a messy divorce

How could it not be? I trusted these men and just like that it’s gone…

They are lucky it was just random shots into the night

Cause America isn’t going to play that hijack game – uh uh – not for one second

Try it…I bet you with the blink of an eye me and John McCain appear like Batman and Robin and show em whose really boss…

Yep

You guessed it…that move is going to be called Country First

 

Logical

D.Smith

“See I Told You We Were In A Recession” – The One ‘I Told You So’ No One Wanted To Be Right About…

 

 

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=081201213246.v50zx9ik&show_article=1&catnum=0

 “During that time, the unemployment rate went to 25 percent, at least, based on the data that we have. The real GDP (gross domestic product) fell by one-third. About a third of all of the banks failed. The stock market fell 90 percent.”

Bernanke said the situation at that time represented “very difficult circumstances,” because “we didn’t have the social safety net that we have today. So let’s put that out of our minds; there’s no — there’s comparison in terms of severity.”  - Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke On How This ISN’T like the Great Depression

What a bunch of bullshit.

I’m sick of rich guys in suits trying to explain to me how good or bad our current economic situation is.

How would you know? Because your fucking pie graph tells you so? Or cause Suze Orman told you so?

Let me tell you something, they dont know shit!!!!

No one does.

Frankly, I was one of the few people out there who called this recession months ago.

So how credible is Devonte Smith on economic affairs?

Well, despite me being 1 for 1…I’d be willing to guess the vast majority of any of you reading this wouldnt trust me with balancing your checkbook, let alone with all of your economic knowledge…

So why trust them? All they are doing is reading a bunch of books on how the economy used to work and coming up with a hypothesis on how that would relate to Wall St. in 2008.

And we are supposed to treat that shit as the gospel???

Oh well, if its printed in the Wall Street Journal or New York Times it must be true…

Lets be real - one thing everyone overlooks when turning to the Journal or the Times is that while they are great resources for reporting the news AFTER it happens, they are horrible at predicting what is going to happen next.

I never heard anyone say “Oh I just read this article in the Times that said there is going to be a terrorist attack in September” or “Hey, did you read that article in th WSJ that says Louisiana is definetly going to get a Hurricane that wipes out all of their wealth and resources”

So why would a newspaper be that insightful now?

Like I said, what a bunch of bullshit.

Thats exactly why these so called economists dont know shit

They are analyzing precedent to give them the answer to the future…

You cant fight a modern day war with the strategy of a caveman

If these guys were so smart, wouldnt they have been able to predict that THIS recession was coming?

Wouldnt they have been able to see this coming and know what measures to take to prevent shit from getting worse?

- Silence -

To me, I see this as totally up in the air.

I just heard today that my current employer could possibly be filing for Chapter 11 as early as Christmas…

That right there is by far the most accurate economic indicator in my opinion

So quite frankly, yes, we very well could be heading for another depression…why?

Because we are still witnessing the free fall of the economy – until there is some sort of stabilization for more than a day or so no one can prove that we aren’t heading for a depression…

See…I told you so…

  

Logical

D.Smith

Chivalry Is Dead…So Now What?

 

 

Chivalry [shiv-uhl-ree] - The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women.

If you were to look up chivalry in the dictionary, the above definiton is what you would find.

If you asked the average woman in today’s world what chivalry meant to her, she might laugh…

That right there is the problem my friends, its not whether or not chivalry is in fact dead, but rather who killed it and how can we as men get it back!!!

To me it seems more evident than ever that most women I come in contact with have this cynical, man hating view of what to expect from ALL man…

I personally don’t like to be lumped into a category with all men, and I think I do a good job of distinguishing the good girls (chicks) from the bad ones (bitches/hoes).

But when it comes time for our female counterparts to spew some venom about one of our fellow brothers, we ALL take the fall!

Its almost as if I, Devonte Smith, has sooooo much power that when your little shitty boyfriend cheats on you, its not just him cheating but ALL men cheating, and I was, of course, the leader of the brigade.

Thats bullshit.

I dont hold nice girls accountable for sluts, so why am I taking the fall for a few bad apples???

This perpetual cycle is not good for either party involved.

I’d love to actually sit down and get a little discussion group going and hash this out – a love tribunal if you will.

2 ladies, 2 dudes, and a few bottles of wine and I’m sure we could uncover this in about an hour.

Consider me the urban Chuck Woolery taking the initial steps necessary to bring women that much closer to men…

To be continued…

Two And Two...Right Back At You!!!

"Two And Two...Right Back At You!!!"

 

Logical

D.Smith

Coming Soon…I Promise…

 

Talk About A Tough Crowd...

Talk About A Tough Crowd...

 

With the influx of depressing news every which way you turn, we here at And This Is My America are working harder than ever on new, fresh and inventive material to keep your mind off of the things that really are important (or not that important…depending on how you look at it!!)

Heres a little sneak peek…

  • Is Chivalry Dead?
  • A Look At How Internet Porn Has Changed ALL Our Lives (For Better…Or More Than Likely For Worse…)
  • The Rise And Fall Of Malt Liquor
  • Thanksgiving Day – The Greatest Man Made American Holiday In Man Made American Holiday Existence
  • How STD’s Have Truly Fucked Up A Playa’s Game…
  • And much much more!!!

 

Till then…

Logical

D.Smith

Published in: on November 24, 2008 at 2:35 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Make It Rain On Em!!! – Somali Pirates Bank $150M In The Past Year…

 

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D94JBV5G1&show_article=1&catnum=0

 Wow

Truly a stunning figure.

$150M in ransom money in the past year alone.

Whats interesting is up until the summer I didnt even know there was such a thing as a black pirate (I’m black so yes I’m allowed to say that shit) let alont a black Somali pirate!!!

Shit was news to me.

Initially when I read the above article I thought, “That’s it we are definitely making this movie and we are going to call that shit Black Sparrow…”

Then I thought, “Wait, hold up a minute, did that figure just say $150M????”

Like god damn, can you take a brother to the strip club?

Shit

I’m over here scouting out recession specials for happy hour later and these motherfuckers are sitting on $150M like they just signed a contract with the Yankees and shit…

Well i’ll tell you one thing, when we start shooting Black Sparrow, they are paying for ALLLL expenses!!!

 

P.S. Mike, I know your sick of this pirate shit, but a) its our future meal ticket and b) it was between this and Senator Mukasey collapsing yesterday and I dont know I thought anything I could possibly say about that would just leave a bad taste in everyone’s mouth…

Logical

D.Smith

Published in: on November 21, 2008 at 12:09 pm  Comments (5)  
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The Weekend Before Thanksgiving – A Staple For The College Freshman…

  

 

What does Thanksgiving mean to a male college freshman?

A much needed break after/before midterms?

A chance to catch up with family members and hometown friends???

To me, it meant the last weekend to take advantage of all the chicks looking for a random dude to bang before they go home for the first or second time since they arrived in August and need a good story to tell…

Thats right.

Somehwere…right now…theres a group of young slores (slut/whore) who are plotting just how wild and dirty they are going to try and make this last weekend if only to make their female peers seem not as cool (aka slutty)…

So listen up gentleman

You have about 3-4 solid nights to plant the bait and attack

This one is a gimme…

Fuck college football

Fuck Halo

And fuck poker night with the guys

Here’s a little friendly brotherly advice

Use the movie line…

When you live in a dorm a DVD can be your best friend

The instant ice-breaker…

Theres nothing more straight to the point than “Hey, you wanna come over and watch a movie?”

A) She KNOWS you want ass, so if she declines you KNOW she doesnt want to fuck! – Why waste anyones time…

B) Its free!!! (minus the drugs and alcohol)

So for you lucky guys out there who still have your youth…take advantage man…take advantage…

 

Logical

D. Smith

Published in: on November 20, 2008 at 5:56 pm  Comments (5)  
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At This Point, Consider Our Economy Fucked…

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/20/business/economy/20econ.html?_r=1&hp

It’s always funny until someone gets hurt.

And right now, we are all hurting.

There are some that will play it off like shit isn’t that bad.

But at this point we can no longer pretend.

I can read.

And according to the article above it is clear that we are not only right smack in the middle of a recession, but this shit aint changing anytime soon.

At this point, ALL of us know someone who has been directly affected by our current economic situation…

I happen to know many people who have had their life altered by this…

While it may seem hard for you to grasp, the only real complaint I have is the focus of the relief.

Rewind back a few months to how happy we were spending that measly $600 bucks Dubya gave us…

I now consider that hush money.

A small little crumb to keep a pack of hungry wolves quiet for the summer.

Now fast forward to where we are now, and what do you know?

When we really need a little bit of help, it seems that all the suits in private jets are the only ones that matter.

I wont say the idea of a bailout is bad.

But, I will say its not fair.

Its almost a reward for the incompetence that lead to all of this in the first place.

While it is clear many of these auto companies need help, I really don’t think they need a handout.

WE need a handout.

First it was inflation, and now its deflation.

First it was an economic downturn, and now its a deep recession.

First it was “This will be over soon, the American public will make it out of this”, and now its “The Fed is anticipating significant further slowing in the economy.”

Where does that leave us?

Broke and bitter…

I’ll tell you what though, I do have faith.

At the end of the day me, Mike James, Jansen Wordsworth, and of course Big Shirley are ready to jump the border in the event shit really does hit the fan.

Mexico or Canada…we can flip a coin and decide at the airport…

A net positive either way…Canada has legal bud in B.C. and Mexico has legal…anything!!! 

Till next time folks…I need to get back to finding things around the office to steal in the event I get layed off next!!!!

Logical

D.Smith

AndThisIsMyAmerica? Due To Lay Off 60,000 Employees

The door's that way

The door

Sorry guys, with the economy being what it is, we’ve really got no choice.  There’s simply not enough capital for me and Devonte to run this site, pay our hookers, and employ the other 58,998 of you.  But we wanted you to know that you’re all very talented people and we’re confident every single one of you will land on your feet.

layoff1

This was by no means an easy decision, but just couldn’t live with myself if I comprised and downgraded my retirement plan from a golden parachute to less popular bronze parachute which was originally offered to me.  I think it’s going to work out much better this way.

- Mike James

Post Script:  We’re not the only ones doing it so quit your blubbering!  http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/11/17/BURD146AIA.DTL

Published in: on November 18, 2008 at 3:49 pm  Comments (3)  
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Determination Of A Pirate – How A Band Of Somali Pirates Hijacked A Supertanker…

 

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/11/18/kenya.tanker.pirates/index.html

“It was attacked more than 450 nautical offshore of Mombasa. This means that the pirates are now operating in an area of over 1.1 million square miles. This is a measure of the determination of the pirates and … a measure of how lucrative piracy could become,” Campbell said.

I wont lie…

Before writing this piece, I had no fucking idea what a supertanker was…

I hear supertanker and I think “Yea that sounds like the type of place John McCain hangs out at!”

Where you going

Going down to the supertanker to think some shit through and oil my gun…”

Perhaps I’m exaggerating a bit

But the point is…I would think it would take a lot to steal just any ol’ tank…but a super one???

That just takes balls.

I wouldn’t try to hijack anything super.

Supercomputer, Supermodel, Super Bowl!!!!

Anyway you slice it, that prefix adds a level of fear…

Like “Ooooh…super!!!”

With that said, at this point these Somalian bastards are bona-fide living legends…

They can all die tommorow and they would be penciled in right next to Dylan Klebold and Timothy McVeigh in the unstated Top Ten Motherfuckers That Went Ape Shit list (Mikey…get on it)…

They deserve more than just one flimsy movie.

This is the stuff HBO mini-series’ are made of.

Think about it, what would you rather watch, Big Love, the story of a Mormon dude fucking multiple mediocre broads…

ORRRRR our badass, action packed Somali Pirate mini-series where you got hostages, explosions, people getting killed execution style, and much much more!!!

All you HBO/Showtime execs out there contact us…

Lets start a bidding war baby!!!!

 

Logical

D.Smith

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