One Bloody Tampon Can Turn Your Whole Week Around

Perhaps the best picture Ive ever stumbled upon, not just the ones we found looking for tampons...

Perhaps the best picture I've ever stumbled upon, and not just out of the ones we found looking for tampons...

http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/local&id=6914735

Ok, so for starters I have had a miserable start to my week.

Since late Sunday night, I have had a terrible toothache which, come to find out, is infected.

To top that off, once it is healed, the tooth needs to be removed…

Yeah, not good.

I don’t have insurance mind you.

Yeah, not good.

So that brings me to this.

Tampons.

And to tell you the truth, for me at least, it’s little things like this that can turn a man’s whole day around…

As I sit in my mother’s house, watching the evening news with the whole right side of my face swollen and throbbing, yearning to be back in my own house, pain free, I began to comprehend the above news story.

A man.

A tourist nonetheless.

Found, and nearly swallowed a bloody tampon inside his steak Friday night while dining in style at the ritzy Bull and Bear Steak House in the world renowned Waldorf Astoria.

Really?

Someone would do that?

When incidents like this occur, I always seem to go through the possible motives in my head.

And I sit there like how do you get to the point, where the next step is an individual standing in a kitchen thinking, “You know what? I should just put my tampon in this bastard’s food…fuck him!”

That just seems like you brought out the Cristal for the wrong guest.

Like you wanna put a booger in his food?

A few pubes?

Even a whole loogie…

But a used tampon?

Sickening

The poor guy from Germany, Axel Sanz-Claus, hasn’t been able to eat or sleep since.

Can you blame him?

I don’t think I would be able to swallow for a year without reliving the whole ordeal.

And pussy would never, ever, ever, be the same again.

Poor Axel.

And there you have it.

It was at that exact moment that I realized, “Sure, I’m having a pretty bad week…”

But absolutely, positively, nothing compared to what our German buddy is going through.

Fuck a bad week.

My man Axel is done for ’09.

- Logical

Published in: on July 15, 2009 at 7:40 am  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. […] One Bloody Tampon Can Turn Your Whole Week Around http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/local&id=6914735 […]

  2. This is the funniest thing i’ve read all week


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