When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong – Hulk Hogan Defends O.J. Simpson

Indeed Hogan, Indeed

Shit, well apparently Hogan...

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/TV/04/15/hulk.hogan.oj/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

“I could have turned everything into a crime scene like O.J., cutting everybody’s throat. You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can’t go to anymore, you’re driving through downtown Clearwater [Florida] and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife …I totally understand O.J. I get it”

Riiiiiiggggghhhhhtttt!!

Perfect example of the type of shit you tell your buddy while your playing Nintendo Wii

…NOT during an interview with Rolling Stone magazine

Logical

D.Smith

Published in: on April 16, 2009 at 7:52 am Comments (4)
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Home Sweet Home – Devonte Smith and Mike James Return From The Great Soul Searching Excursion of 2009!

Hakuna Matata Motherfuckers!

Hakuna Matata Motherfuckers!

Well, well, well, what can I say except, we are back, and truly better than ever.

In the past few weeks, while you guys and gals have sat around pondering what to do without your weekly fix of And This Is My America, Mike James and myself left the fucking country.

When the going gets tough, we get going…

Plain and simple.

Now, I had a few ideas before we left about why we were leaving, but 14 bottles of tequila later I really fucking forgot.

So the trip essentially turned into, The Great Soul Searching Excursion of 2009.

A time for me and Mike to sit back, travel the world, and really think.

We discussed world peace, marijuana decriminalization, politics, sports, and gynecology.

And at the end, I think we emerged better men.

Fast forward through the plane ride back and we are back in New York City.

And back we are…

Impatiently awaiting the arrival of summer, or “Titty Season” as Mike likes to call it.

One thing I have noticed is, since we have been gone not a damn thing has changed.

We’re still broke.

Everyone else is still broke.

We’re still not as young as we used to be.

I still don’t have a job and Mike still hates his.

And the ocean is still a Somalian Pirates playground.

Go fucking figure.

Alright, I’m going to hit the hay for now, but check out these awesome pictures me and Mike took from our trip and stay tuned for more of our usual shenanigans…

Mexico

Mexico

Barcelona

Barcelona

France

France

Last And Certainly Not Least - South Africa!

Last And Certainly Not Least - South Africa!

Logical

D.Smith

P.S. If you are interested in using The Great Soul Searching Excursion of 2009 concept for marketing and promotional purposes, please contact me at itshardbeingbeautiful@gmail.com

P.P.S. Yes, thats really my e-mail address. If you don’t believe me, drop me a line and I’ll be sure to reply at my earliest convenience.

Published in: on at 3:32 am Comments (3)
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“Life After Film School” with John Cena?!

Fox Movie Channel has this series of interviews called Life After Film School.  On this series they interview actors, directors, screenwriters, etc.  If they had a shred of credibility left over from their interview of Tim Story (director of Taxi and Fantastic Four), it has now left them, with their latest interview of John Cena.

If you feel like watching 27 minutes of mind numbing conversation click here. 

john_cena-interview

Or I can save you the trouble and describe what a bunch of hack USC film students interviewing John Cena sounds like.

Virgin #1: “Uuuumin the final scene when you had to fight that guy on the airplane wing while the plane was moving, who’s idea was it to kill the guy with a bodyslam instead of using a spinebuster when that clearly would end the fight faster”?

john-cena-running
 
Virgin #2: “Yeah I just wanted to know where you got your motivation, you know when your wife gets kidnapped cause you’re obviously a very good, well trained actor, but that just seemed so real!  Sort of like when you were wrestling and you beat Rick Flair, but he stole your title belt after the match.  You totally showed the same anger in that scene.  Was Flair your motivation?”

Jesus Christ I fucking hate people.

- Mike James

Published in: on April 1, 2009 at 2:58 pm Leave a Comment
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Sorry About The Break, But Just So You Know…

They Sure Dont Make Em Like This Anymore...

They Sure Don't Make 'Em Like This Anymore...

While Mike James and myself are taking time to concentrate on some other projects, I have created a little place for me to drop knowledge on you guys…

No holds barred, in a pretty raw format…

Feel free to come check me out at The Devonte Smith Project

Live and very uncensored!!!

Logical

D.Smith

Published in: on March 24, 2009 at 6:38 pm Comments (2)
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I Always Have This When I Try To Explain To Someone That Love Can Make A Motherfucker Go Crazy…

Never been a big Tom Cruise fan but this never gets old.

He should have won an Oscar for this shit…

Definitely

Logical

D.Smith

Published in: on at 10:55 am Leave a Comment
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Shoe-Cam Peeping Tom? – The Story Of How One Sleazy Man With A Boot And A Digital Camera Got Caught…

There Really Is No Way You Cant Feel Like A Scumbag Doing This...

Of All The Scumbag Things To Do...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29725297/

According to the Neptune Beach police, Jeffery Polizzi went into Aqua East on Atlantic Boulevard last Monday, stood next to the dressing room and put his shoe under the door.

This dude is just a loser.

I have never claimed to be the most upright, moral citizen.

But using a homemade shoe-cam to try and take pics of women in the dressing room of a surf shop?

That’s just oh so low…

If you go here, there is actually a video on CNN.com that breaks down not only how his dumb ass got caught, but how he lead the cops on a little bit of a chase before eventually being captured.

You see, this is what I mean when I talk about a general breakdown in character across all of mankind…

In the old days, you would be satisfied with being a peeping tom and seeing what you saw and going home and beating off to all your little sick and twisted fantasies about girls you just wrongfully watched get nude.

But now? That’s just not enough.

This motherfucker wants to take digital pictures of the shit.

I mean how greedy can you get?

It’s bad enough you’re hovering over this chick’s dressing room (because that doesn’t look obvious), but now you got your foot WITH a camera in it, stuck under the curtain, snapping pictures and shit.

Talk about gettin’ caught with your pants down…

Now this poor sack of shit is going to jail for Voyeurism.

Terrible thing to have to go to jail for.

If I’m going to jail, I better have attempted to smuggle drugs or steal a shit load of cash, not looking at pussy through a curtain…

Now, I’m not 100% sure if it’s in all, but I know in a lot of states this is considered to be a felony.

- Devonte shakes his head -

Damn, I would love to be a fly on the wall on his first job interview after being released.

Logical

D.Smith

Published in: on March 17, 2009 at 9:51 am Comments (1)
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Hurry The Fuck Up Spring!

The one thing I hate about living in NYC is that you spend 9 months out of the year waiting for 3…

Now I am sure there are plenty other geographical locations that have worst weather than New York, but I don’t know, this whole seasons thing is getting old.

I think I would prefer 2 seasons…

Warm and Hot!

That way, your pretty much covered year round as far as what you are wearing.

Now I know the grass is always greener on the other side, but why did my side have to get all the cold weather?

Like California’s side just sounds like that motherfucker may really be that much greener!

And what happened to global warming?

This winter was cold as hell, I thought we were supposed to be melting and shit

Exaggerating motherfuckers…

Not that I want that shit to happen, but its like the scapegoat of the moment.

Anyway, I just wanted to take a time out to say that Devonte is pretty fucking happy these days.

And this is with less money in my pockets.

But without having to deal with the daily grind of an office job, I have been able to look at the glass half full.

I know your used to hearing my pessimistic bullshit, but what can I say, I’m in a good mood today…

Logical

D.Smith

Published in: on at 9:07 am Leave a Comment
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This Is When Reality Bites – The Recession Forces Families Into Living Out Of Motels

How Bad Can It Get?

How Bad Can It Get?

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/11/us/11motel.html?_r=1&hp

It’s not often I take a break and put on my serious cap, but I read this and it just broke my heart.

This is the type of stuff that is really going on out there.

It’s one thing to not be able to buy as many drinks at the bar, or a shirt, or go on vacation…

All of which are luxuries.

But being forced to move your whole family into a motel?

No way to spin that positively at all…

So I’m going to use this moment to put aside the fact that I don’t have a job right now, and instead, be thankful that I still have a roof over my head and food on the table for the time being.

…Not to mention a lot of time and access to internet porn on my hands!

Logical

D.Smith

Published in: on March 11, 2009 at 1:55 pm Comments (2)
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This Whole Rhianna/Chris Brown Situation Is Enough To Drive a Man Swayze!

You Shoulda Treated Me Right

You Shoulda Treated Me Right

That's The Way Love Is

That's The Way Love Is

And now Rhianna and Chris Brown join the illustious group.

Pon De Replay in Court

Pon De Replay In Court

Piece and Chicken Grease

Piece and Chicken Grease

In reviewing some of our country’s previous ”high profile” domestic violence cases of the past thirty or so years, I’ve discovered a shocking similarity.  Please take a moment and carefully inspect the images above.  What stands out?  What seems to be the common denominator in all of these pictures?  It’s not that hard, after all you’d have to be blind not to notice each one of these people share the same unmistakable trait.  Just look!  You can’t miss it, there’s no question about it, each and every person in these photographs is…………………………………………………………. A MUSICIAN!

Now, I’m not musician, I grew up on Long Island where, in certain areas, they are very distrustful of musicians.  I wasn’t even allowed to date a musician, to do so would have literally caused my Italian grandma to die of shock.  A musician once stole my Uncle Petey’s car as a matter of fact, but that’s neither here nor there.  The point is these musicians need to get their acts together!

Rhianna is an unbelievable ‘knock out’, no pun intended, and to lay a hand on that face is nothing short of a travesty.  Chris Brown on the other hand is a loser, and he’s ugly, and he’s a man.  To beat him bloody wouldn’t be any great loss to society.  I’ve heard rumors that Rhianna supposedly punched him a few times in anger, to that I say BIG FUCKING DEAL!  Rhianna could pummel me into the ground until I was dependent on a colostomy bag to catch the falling stool from my crippled body, I wouldn’t care!  So long as at the end of the day she sponges me off, sexes me up and poses for photographs so everyone knows what I got waiting at home.

Oh Rhianna when are you gonna learn?  Another musician isn’t the answer you seek, it’s ME, Mike James!

See, I Can Fit It!

See, I Can Fit It!

- Mike James

On a side note: Megan Fox and What’s His Face from Domino are NOT musicians so they should be ok.  Horrible actors yes, musicians no.

9021-NOOOOOO!

9021-NOOOOOO!

Published in: on March 10, 2009 at 12:58 pm Leave a Comment
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He May Be A Scumbag, But Spitzer Is a Real Dude…

The Face Of A Wild Man...

The Face Of A Wild Man...

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2009/03/08/2009-03-08_eliot_spitzer_choked_her_during_sex_clai.html

Most people will read this and be all weird and high all mighty about it.

I read it and liked him more than I did before reading it.

I mean lets really break this down

So Eliot Spitzer likes rough sex…

Don’t we all?

And at $1000 an hour, I would be no hold barred as well (no pun intended)

So just because you sign a gubernatorial oath, you cant be a freak?

Fuck that…

First of all, lets not get into the wild sex I would be having in the White House if I was Obama.

Handcuffing Michelle with White House drapes and shit…

Yall don’t even know the type of outlandish shit that goes through young Devonte’s brain.

Well, maybe now you do…

…Eliot Spitzer for Reelection!

Logical

D.Smith

Published in: on March 9, 2009 at 3:14 pm Comments (11)
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